Goals Are Important But Values Give Us Meaning

Western culture is goal driven. From an early age our experience of life is framed by targets like passing exams, getting a job, gaining promotion, passing the next milestone.  The we look up and see another goal and another target and so the cycle continues.

Sure achievement gives us a lift. It feels great, but how long does that good feeling last before we are looking ahead at the next thing we need to do? On the surface, this looks like ambition but underneath often there’s something else going on.

• A quiet sense that we’re never quite “there”

• A pressure to keep up with others

• A fear that if we stop striving, we’re somehow falling behind

In this system, opting out of goals can feel like opting out of life.

Before I go any further, let’s be clear, I’m not knocking goals per-se.  Goals on their own aren’t the issue, it’s our relationship with them that can pull us out of shape.  

If we’re caught up in the pursuit of goals to the point where this over-rides everything else then we may start to see things like:

• Organisations prioritising outcomes over people

• Industries chasing growth at any cost

• Even nations pursuing objectives through conflict, despite the human and economic toll

Does this sounds familiar? The pattern is the same. When the goal becomes everything, what gets lost is how we get there.

Sure, goals give us some things. But they don’t give us other things that seem to be important.

Goals are future-focused.

They answer: “What do I want to achieve?”

But they don’t answer:

• “How do I want to behave while I’m doing it?” 

• “What kind of person do I want to be as I’m working towards my goals” 

This is where we can become unstuck. We may know what we want, and what to do to get it, but our actions may not reflect the things that really matter to us – specifically, how we want to be.

Goals and Values

Values, on the other hand, they’re different.

They’re not milestones or destinations but more like directions.  That’s why they are sometimes known as “life’s compass”.

They answer:

• How do I want to show up? 

• What matters in how I act, especially when it’s difficult? 

Unlike goals, values don’t expire once achieved.

They’re available in every moment:

• When you’re progressing

• When you’ve achieved

• When things haven’t gone to plan

That’s the difference. Goals can be missed but values can be lived and we can use them to guide us in our actions, choices and behaviours at any time, in any situation.

A lakeside at sunset

"Meal in Your Honour" Exercise

Imagine this. Ten years from now, the people who matter most to you gather for a meal in your honour. At some point, someone stands up to speak. They say a few words about you.

What you meant to them. How you showed up. The impact you had.

Now ask yourself: What would you want them to say?

Not about your achievements, but in your heart of hearts - about you.

If you answer honestly, you’ll start to see something emerge:

• The kind of colleague you want to be

• The kind of leader you want to be

• The kind of person you want to be in your relationships

  
  

In doing this little exercise, you’re shining a light and bringing into focus your values; how you want to be in areas of your life like work, family and relationships.

It’s important to note that this isn’t about abandoning goals but more about anchoring them differently.

Because in reality:

• Goals set the destination

• But behaviour determines outcomes

Goals will always matter in business, but it’s values guided action that supports us to do more of what matters when it counts.

It’s what allows people to:

• Deliver when it’s difficult

• Stay effective when conditions change

• Act in ways that build trust, not just results

Goals are important. But don't rely on them to give your work - and your life - meaning.

That comes from something else.

How you show up. How you act. What you stand for - especially in the tough times.

If you're curious about this and how you can cultivate psychological flexibility - the skills that will support you to do more of what matters when it counts, then come along to out 2-hour in-person session: Introduction to the Flex Advantage for business.