Learning To Play The Space

Miles Davis - the legendary jazz musician was born 100 years ago on May 26 1926. As you would expect, there’s been a lot of media activity celebrating this anniversary and his status as a 20th Century cultural icon.

As well as being the guy that invented "cool", his playing became strongly associated with the idea that music isn’t just about the notes but also about "the space between the notes".

I love this concept - "the space between the notes". For the curious, it’s an irresistible idea. An invitation to play. So let’s do just that.

Firstly, I like the idea that if music is the space between the notes then this means that we can all be musicians. We don’t need to play the notes. We just need to occupy the space and tap into the perspective that musicians and composers have on silence.

The Space Is Where the Meaning Lives

Think about how:

• Notes are intentional and sparse

• Musicians like Miles Davis value silence as much as sound

• The pauses create tension, meaning and emotional depth

• What you don’t play can matter more than what you do play

The "space" is not emptiness in a negative sense; in this context it's alive, charged and full of possibility.

What Has This Got To Do With Psychological Flexibility?

Ok, so what’s this got to do with the psychological and behavioural skills that support performance?

At its core, the psychological part is about cultivating skills in noticing and observing. Specifically, noticing and observing our internal weather – particularly when we are under pressure.

• If our thoughts are the notes, we’re occupying the space that allows us to notice them.

• If external events are the notes, we’re occupying the space between stimulus and response.

A key concept here is that space or silence doesn’t mean emptiness.

• For Miles Davis, silence holds emotional weight, anticipation and meaning.

• In noticing and observing, silence cultivates skills in self-awareness.

In both, this space is where depth lives.

Jazz Musicians Are Great Listeners

Let’s develop this idea a bit further.

We all know that jazz musicians are great improvisors. In practice, they seem to consistently respond effectively to what is happening around them, which means not only must they be good players, but also good listeners.

Watch them on stage as they listen intently:

• To each other

• To timing

• To silence

Their focus is less on:

"What do I do next?"

And more towards:

"What is here right now?"

This is key to responding effectively.

• In jazz, one note at the right time is better than many notes at the wrong time.

• In work and life, one conscious response is better than many automatic reactions.

If you're curious, spend five minutes listening to Miles Davis and notice how much of the music is carried not by the notes, but by the spaces around them.

What Happens When We Lose The Space?

Why does this matter?

It matters because most of our difficulties come from collapsing that space.

For example, in autopilot mode:

• Someone criticises you and you respond defensively.

• Pressure at work shows up and, under stress, you rush decisions.

• Difficult emotions appear and your response is avoidant or reactive.

If there’s plenty of noise but no space, that’s like playing music with:

• No pauses

• No phrasing

• No listening

That doesn’t sound particularly easy on the ear, does it?

Anyone familiar with my content will know that I like to link back where possible to the superpower of psychological flexibility – the ability to pause, notice what’s happening and choose a response aligned with your values, rather than reacting automatically.

Learning To Play The Space

In this example, we can think of psychological flexibility as learning to "Play the Space".

This is where the jazz metaphor becomes practical.

Instead of:

"I feel stressed. I must act on it now."

You develop:

"I feel stressed."

Pause.

Notice.

Choose your response.

That pause is your space between the notes.

What happens in that space?

• You notice what’s showing up.

• You choose how you want to respond.

That’s psychological flexibility in action.

Becoming A Musician Without An Instrument

Think about how becoming a jazz musician without playing a musical instrument could benefit you at work or in your relationships.

How much better would you perform with an improved ability to:

• Reduce impulsiveness

• Consider context and priorities

• Act with intention rather than urgency

How much better a communicator might you be if, instead of:

• Interrupting

• Defending

• Over-explaining

You:

• Listen fully

• Pause before responding

• Say only what’s needed

And let’s not overlook things like stress management, sense of satisfaction, meaning and purpose, and the overall improved sense of wellbeing, all derived from playing the space between the notes.

It may be about silence, but I like the sound of it.

Final Note

To summarise, we can say that psychological flexibility is the human ability to hear the "space between the notes" of our own experience - thoughts, feelings and emotions - and choose how we play next.

Miles Davis left room for it to happen.

And in work and life, your effectiveness often comes down to the same thing.

It’s seldom about how much you do and how fast you do it.

Usually, it’s about how well you use the space before you respond.

So I'm curious.

Where in your work or life might you benefit from a little more space between the notes?

If you want to learn how to do this visit my website